What a day.
Before going on this assignment to India, I spoke with many CSC-Alumni who had told me how hard it was to say goodbye to their CSC teams on the last night. I envied the connections that they evidently had with their group but I'll admit, I wasn't so sure that it was a typical experience- I mean, how do you get so close to a group of strangers all from different cultures in 4 short weeks?
Today I found out exactly how close you can become to a group of strangers all from different cultures in 4 short weeks. Even writing this blog, now thinking of the team has made me start to cry again. Where do I even begin to explain this part of the journey?
Through-out the course of this month, we have consistently been referred to as an 'international team'. Of course working for IBM, we work with our international teams every day through conference calls and virtual chat sessions. However this was the first time I had been part of a team that boasted of 12 people from 9 different countries. It was the first time that I had spent 3 months working with a team like this, preparing for the assignment via conference calls at midnight. Meeting this international group of people for the first time whether it be at airports, transfer hotels or the lobby of the Lemon Tree hotel was a new experience for me with an international team.
Spending almost every waking hour with someone(s) from this team over 4 weeks bonds you in a certain way. Being in a foreign country, especially a non-tourist destination, forms you as a group even when you are still learning to recognise one another with names to match faces. You are being referred to as that 'international team' and I felt really proud to belong to something such as that. Being the youngest of the group (marginally by about 2 years) I felt an extra privilege to belong to this group membership. I felt proud that as an individual, I had done something right along the way in my life to earn me a place here in this team.
It even goes beyond the fact we are in a foreign country. It is what we are doing here. To be asked regularly "Are you a study group or friends" by interested locals, there was something neat about being able to say 'Actually, we work for IBM and are here to help NGO's in Indore". This group of strangers, united by a place of employment have somehow been able to fly on average 15-20 hours around the world to help people and society in a developing city- that alone brings you together as a group. Without even needing to question it, I can anticipate how this group of 12 would respond to various topics such as empowerment, the environment, poverty, racism, disease, crime and helping others. They would respond the same as I would, with empathy and a passion to create positive change, a willingness to help without wanting a single thing in return.
There are many beautiful people in this world but equally there are many people closed off to some parts of life as such is their life journey. So it is a relief to spend time in the company of fellow minded people. We all choose our friends based on similarities and as you get older, you only keep those close around you who share the same mindsets. But there is something so refreshingly pure and ethereal to know that there are other people in the world who want to do good. It validates my view of the world and I happily continue to wear my rose-tinted glasses.
We spent our weekends exploring Madhya Pradesh and being new in India, there was much we had to adjust too. On days walking around a new town, in the scorching heat- we shared water bottles between 5 of us. 'Normal' tendencies to keep your germs to yourself are removed when you are brought down to the human need to hydrate, to survive.
Different bonding occurs between the men and the women. It is with the women whom you have only meet a week earlier that you have frank conversations about toilet etiquette and tips when you find yourself presented with a toilet in the ground, rather than an upright chair- sharing information that you normally don't even talk to those close to you back home. It moves past the personal distance and into a community spirit of caring, ensuring that everyone is comfortable.
Personal space is also redefined as you adapt to new modes of travel. Fitting 3 adults into a rickshaw that is designed for the much small size of our Indian counterparts, we learned to sit close, touching - unlike our stiff ramod straight backs when we use public transporation back in our home countries. And if this wasn't a transgression enough, we fit 5 of us into a rickshaw one day to get from A to B. Entirely, another level of friendship. From the second week, I heard conversations and offers to visit various home countries and now we are at the end of the assignment, I know the people that are going to be at the top of my list to visit in the next few years.
It is during the work we do with our NGO's, that allow us to form a working relationship with our sub-teams, 3 of us in total. Over time, this naturally develops into a friendship when the chemistry is right. With the 12 of us broken down into 4 teams of 3, you were given the chance to really learn about two other people from other countries. I was really lucky and pleased to find that our group of 3 had the right chemistry to work together from day one. Tyler (from Canada) and Anika (from Germany) were friendly, individuals in their own right but representative of their backgrounds and countries in such a way that many laughs were shared when the 3 of us couldn't understand the phrases/words we each used to describe things.
You form these deeper connections with your sub-team because they are witness to your way of working, they are in a position to give you feedback and to congratulate your efforts. They keenly watch you interact with the client because it a group success and we all want to do well. They become the people you sometimes seek out in a bigger group because you are most familiar with them. Kabi (our in-country contact) said that we look for sameness in one another in these situations and there are many psychological theories from social psychology that certainly support this and I was fortunate that not only did I have my sub-team to default to, there were others that I felt close to as well because there was compatibility. Alas, I had the pleasure of learning more about Patrick (from Brazil) and Paul (from the US) and I felt like I had a little go-to group of sorts that I could interact with, whether I wanted a gym buddy or a shopping day, someone to have a joke with or a friend to play pool and have a drink with.
That is why, as I sat alone in the car when being driven back to the Indore airport to eventually make my way back to Australia that I started to cry. I cried when I said goodbye to these new friends at the hotel, especially the ones you couldn't say the right words to, when it was too hard. But sitting there alone, having been part of something special and knowing that it was now over, was harder than I thought. I wish I could say that I delicately wept a few tears, whilst looking demure there in the backseat, but sadly, that was not the case. I cried to myself and tried to control my emotions. Even when the driver tried to help by asking me questions he already knew the answers to, I did managed to answer, briefly acting normal, until I would start to think and then cry again.
What made it harder on that drive to the airport, was seeing the people of Indore as I left. Once upon a time, it was a myriad of visuals and complexity of life that I could not make sense of. But today I knew why the man was pushing the cart full of stock down the road- it was so he could make way to his post where he would remain for the rest of the day to sell his products and make a living. It was the fact that I could now understand that the group of people standing together near a stand, they stop to drink sugar-cane juice, a refreshing taste during the hot day. I now understood why some people were washing in the streets, having seen slum communities. Having all this new knowledge meant that I changed. And I guess I cried a little for myself, knowing that this part of me wouldn't exist again. Because it was something unique, almost like a cosmic energy that you should treasure, knowing that it cannot be recreated. But you have faith that you will experience the next one.
So.
I did change, just as I was told I would. I changed, even when I thought it would only happen to a small degree. I changed in a way that its basis is grounded and so desperately needed that there is no way I would have guessed that this is the change that would have happened. I didn't know that I needed this.
Change has become addictive and I will now willingly join the ranks of those CSC-Alumni who almost seemed obsessed in their happiness of CSC memories and their flowing wishes of goodwill. I will become that same ambassador and even if you work in a place that doesn't have a program like this, I urge you to do something different. I used my skills to help other parts of humanity. That changed me. What would change you?
I can't think of a more perfect way to end this blog post, than by sharing this short video with you. Our incredibly funny and lively team member Maco (from Chile) made this for our group, check it out :)
Maco's video gift to the CSC-India17 team
Before going on this assignment to India, I spoke with many CSC-Alumni who had told me how hard it was to say goodbye to their CSC teams on the last night. I envied the connections that they evidently had with their group but I'll admit, I wasn't so sure that it was a typical experience- I mean, how do you get so close to a group of strangers all from different cultures in 4 short weeks?
Today I found out exactly how close you can become to a group of strangers all from different cultures in 4 short weeks. Even writing this blog, now thinking of the team has made me start to cry again. Where do I even begin to explain this part of the journey?
Through-out the course of this month, we have consistently been referred to as an 'international team'. Of course working for IBM, we work with our international teams every day through conference calls and virtual chat sessions. However this was the first time I had been part of a team that boasted of 12 people from 9 different countries. It was the first time that I had spent 3 months working with a team like this, preparing for the assignment via conference calls at midnight. Meeting this international group of people for the first time whether it be at airports, transfer hotels or the lobby of the Lemon Tree hotel was a new experience for me with an international team.
Spending almost every waking hour with someone(s) from this team over 4 weeks bonds you in a certain way. Being in a foreign country, especially a non-tourist destination, forms you as a group even when you are still learning to recognise one another with names to match faces. You are being referred to as that 'international team' and I felt really proud to belong to something such as that. Being the youngest of the group (marginally by about 2 years) I felt an extra privilege to belong to this group membership. I felt proud that as an individual, I had done something right along the way in my life to earn me a place here in this team.
It even goes beyond the fact we are in a foreign country. It is what we are doing here. To be asked regularly "Are you a study group or friends" by interested locals, there was something neat about being able to say 'Actually, we work for IBM and are here to help NGO's in Indore". This group of strangers, united by a place of employment have somehow been able to fly on average 15-20 hours around the world to help people and society in a developing city- that alone brings you together as a group. Without even needing to question it, I can anticipate how this group of 12 would respond to various topics such as empowerment, the environment, poverty, racism, disease, crime and helping others. They would respond the same as I would, with empathy and a passion to create positive change, a willingness to help without wanting a single thing in return.
There are many beautiful people in this world but equally there are many people closed off to some parts of life as such is their life journey. So it is a relief to spend time in the company of fellow minded people. We all choose our friends based on similarities and as you get older, you only keep those close around you who share the same mindsets. But there is something so refreshingly pure and ethereal to know that there are other people in the world who want to do good. It validates my view of the world and I happily continue to wear my rose-tinted glasses.
We spent our weekends exploring Madhya Pradesh and being new in India, there was much we had to adjust too. On days walking around a new town, in the scorching heat- we shared water bottles between 5 of us. 'Normal' tendencies to keep your germs to yourself are removed when you are brought down to the human need to hydrate, to survive.
Different bonding occurs between the men and the women. It is with the women whom you have only meet a week earlier that you have frank conversations about toilet etiquette and tips when you find yourself presented with a toilet in the ground, rather than an upright chair- sharing information that you normally don't even talk to those close to you back home. It moves past the personal distance and into a community spirit of caring, ensuring that everyone is comfortable.
Personal space is also redefined as you adapt to new modes of travel. Fitting 3 adults into a rickshaw that is designed for the much small size of our Indian counterparts, we learned to sit close, touching - unlike our stiff ramod straight backs when we use public transporation back in our home countries. And if this wasn't a transgression enough, we fit 5 of us into a rickshaw one day to get from A to B. Entirely, another level of friendship. From the second week, I heard conversations and offers to visit various home countries and now we are at the end of the assignment, I know the people that are going to be at the top of my list to visit in the next few years.
It is during the work we do with our NGO's, that allow us to form a working relationship with our sub-teams, 3 of us in total. Over time, this naturally develops into a friendship when the chemistry is right. With the 12 of us broken down into 4 teams of 3, you were given the chance to really learn about two other people from other countries. I was really lucky and pleased to find that our group of 3 had the right chemistry to work together from day one. Tyler (from Canada) and Anika (from Germany) were friendly, individuals in their own right but representative of their backgrounds and countries in such a way that many laughs were shared when the 3 of us couldn't understand the phrases/words we each used to describe things.
You form these deeper connections with your sub-team because they are witness to your way of working, they are in a position to give you feedback and to congratulate your efforts. They keenly watch you interact with the client because it a group success and we all want to do well. They become the people you sometimes seek out in a bigger group because you are most familiar with them. Kabi (our in-country contact) said that we look for sameness in one another in these situations and there are many psychological theories from social psychology that certainly support this and I was fortunate that not only did I have my sub-team to default to, there were others that I felt close to as well because there was compatibility. Alas, I had the pleasure of learning more about Patrick (from Brazil) and Paul (from the US) and I felt like I had a little go-to group of sorts that I could interact with, whether I wanted a gym buddy or a shopping day, someone to have a joke with or a friend to play pool and have a drink with.
That is why, as I sat alone in the car when being driven back to the Indore airport to eventually make my way back to Australia that I started to cry. I cried when I said goodbye to these new friends at the hotel, especially the ones you couldn't say the right words to, when it was too hard. But sitting there alone, having been part of something special and knowing that it was now over, was harder than I thought. I wish I could say that I delicately wept a few tears, whilst looking demure there in the backseat, but sadly, that was not the case. I cried to myself and tried to control my emotions. Even when the driver tried to help by asking me questions he already knew the answers to, I did managed to answer, briefly acting normal, until I would start to think and then cry again.
What made it harder on that drive to the airport, was seeing the people of Indore as I left. Once upon a time, it was a myriad of visuals and complexity of life that I could not make sense of. But today I knew why the man was pushing the cart full of stock down the road- it was so he could make way to his post where he would remain for the rest of the day to sell his products and make a living. It was the fact that I could now understand that the group of people standing together near a stand, they stop to drink sugar-cane juice, a refreshing taste during the hot day. I now understood why some people were washing in the streets, having seen slum communities. Having all this new knowledge meant that I changed. And I guess I cried a little for myself, knowing that this part of me wouldn't exist again. Because it was something unique, almost like a cosmic energy that you should treasure, knowing that it cannot be recreated. But you have faith that you will experience the next one.
So.
I did change, just as I was told I would. I changed, even when I thought it would only happen to a small degree. I changed in a way that its basis is grounded and so desperately needed that there is no way I would have guessed that this is the change that would have happened. I didn't know that I needed this.
Change has become addictive and I will now willingly join the ranks of those CSC-Alumni who almost seemed obsessed in their happiness of CSC memories and their flowing wishes of goodwill. I will become that same ambassador and even if you work in a place that doesn't have a program like this, I urge you to do something different. I used my skills to help other parts of humanity. That changed me. What would change you?
I can't think of a more perfect way to end this blog post, than by sharing this short video with you. Our incredibly funny and lively team member Maco (from Chile) made this for our group, check it out :)
Maco's video gift to the CSC-India17 team
Great post yet again. So happy you had a wonderful time in India, forging new relations and making friends along the way. I can't wait to see the country too. Welcome back home!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica ... I have really enjoyed reading your Blog - - I almost felt like I was there with you as it was so well written:-) I bet the four weeks went fast for you. I look forward to catching up with you when you are back in Oz and have had some time to get settled back in.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica - such a great post! I relate to so much in it and I, like you, had a tough go of the goodbyes. I was immediately missing our group as I rode a rickshaw by myself on Saturday ;(
ReplyDeleteA brilliant post once more. The way you write it really does place us right there with you, feeling what you're feeling. What an amazing experience. Thank you so much for sharing the journey with us : )
ReplyDelete