2 hours until I leave

I am writing my last blog post from Australia, here in the airport. Two hours away from leaving I am quite comfy in my newly created 'lounge'.

The perks of an almost empty airport that has internet, power-points and coffee.

It has been an interesting week in the lead up to this adventure. As I sit here, I am tired, mentally exhausted and I think I am coming down with a cold. In true Gemini fashion, I spread myself too thin and did not slow down at all this week prior to the trip. I remembered to book some annual leave after the assignment, just not before.

So a hot tip for any IBMers out there who are about to go on assignment, take annual leave 2 days before you depart. You might be more organised than me, but I was still finishing deliverables only hours ago as a month is long enough that you need to get a fair bit of work done beforehand so you can still be welcomed back at work when you return. There was also quite the list of things to do in preparation for this trip that are not difficult, but are just time consuming i.e., getting adapters (thanks dad, who I should admit, did this task for me), putting gym memberships on hold, notifying the bank of your future spending trends, borrowing various items from family members (thanks for the ipod dock Mel! Love you! ) as well as trying to make as many goodbye phone calls to your friends and family in those last few days (Cath- we never managed to stop phone tag so thanks for trying, bambelo xx)

I was intending on writing this post 2 days ago as I experienced my first small moment of, well, panic. It followed my pre-India shopping trip.... Turns out I am more vain than I realised. Those that know me may be (or may not be) surprised by my revelation here. Don't get me wrong- I know am best friends with my mascara and eye-liner, however there was a part of me that thought I could 'go with the flow' when needed.

What am I really talking about you may ask? Obviously when visiting a new country, you want to assimilate and adapt into the culture in which you are visiting. By this I mean, I want to dress appropriately for my surroundings. What caused the fleeting moment of panic was when I flung open the doors of my wardrobe and realised that nothing I owned was going to be suitable (ok- I tell a small lie, I didn't 'fling' the doors open, I merely opened them).

So again, those who see me irl could probably count on one hand the amount of times that they have seen me wear a pair of pants, even more so, a pair of work pants. I literally have never had a pair of work pants (trousers, for those reading along in the UK). I wear skirts to work. So my shopping trip included finding a pair of these allusive work pants. I also seem to not own anything that sits past my knees, so finding a pair of knee length shorts was a bit of a mission. Ladies, you know what I mean here- ever get that feeling when trying a pair of pants (when you have hidden in comfy skirts for too long) that you are being strangled by something? ...Or is that just me...lol.


I won't go into an item by item rerun of my shopping trip, but lets just say, I have no idea what is in my suitcase. There are some standard-Jessica clothes, some non-standard Jessica clothes and a whole bunch of things that I thought might be comfortable in the heat of India. When it all comes down to it, I am probably going to live in a Punjabi dress.

....Nowwwww, I implore you to look beyond the assumed rampant state of my vanity and rather, see it from my state of mind instead (or really, is this my justification?). Clothing is what allows us to make the transition between self and society and the fact that this has been challenged slightly in my near-perfect world, has led me to reflect on assumptions and challenges that I will discover through this assignment.

A very good mentor recently said to me, 'the thing about assumptions, is that you don't realise you had them until they are challenged'. And that has been my experience here, I didn't think I would have such an issue with what I was wearing, until I realised that I may not be accepted by society or be viewed at / be judged incorrectly. I wonder what other assumptions I have about myself, my life and my view of the world that will be revealed through the next month? I have heard countless times that this CSC assignment will change me (to the point that I was joking at lunch today, that my colleagues will be meeting a whole new Jessica rather than a slightly changed Jessica). Also- typical (?) Australian fare for my last lunch here- Yum Cha.

Honestly, I had debated whether I would dedicate an entire blog post to my clothing debacle as I cannot believe it had consumed my thoughts as much as it did. But it did. So here is the post. I endeavor to hold myself accountable to the thoughts I have, despite the amount of shame or distaste that it may bring when putting it down on paper. I do, however, look forward to my future self laughing at my 'former' self in a months time and will make snooty, enlightened comments about my lack of character and weakness of self-perception.

If I can hazard a guess at what my self-metamorphosis will be, I think that:

- I will lose some of my naivety of the world. I have evolved to a point that my glasses are permanently rose-tinted.
- I will have more patience for human kind and our differences.
- I will appreciate the accessible water, electricity, transport and cleanliness of Australia.
- I will be proud of myself for having entered into this experience open minded.

I will revisit this post at the end of the assignment and see where my head is at in terms of these
thoughts. I was talking also with my sister recently about this topic and she mused that it would be little differences like what is in my visuals when I go to work here, compared to when I go to work in India.

I live less than one minutes walk from a tram stop, where I only have to wait between 2-3 minutes for a tram to take me to my workplace. I walk into my office which is a lovely area filled with busy corporates dressed in all-black, wheeling along their laptop cases, holding a coffee in one hand and clutching their phone in the other. I fall into this crowd and the only environmental hazard that I have to face is my inability to walk in heels through puddles, say hello to someone passing, find my security badge and brush the hair out of my eyes all at once whilst standing upright. I then take a lift up to level 13 and come to my neatly colourful desk, pictured below.

I look forward to seeing what my new 'walk to work' will entail. I have seen from some other CSC blogs that often power black outs and elephants on the highway are amongst some of the adventures that can exist in other countries. I am very much looking forward to my assignment, especially now as I sit in the airport with less than an hour to board and having had the chance to reflect here in this post. All of the stresses of my past life (to which, they are minimal) have melted away with the 'old Jessica' and a 'new Jessica' is sitting here like a blank canvas, ready to be painted with the colours of new life, new people, new surroundings and a self-journey that I am sure I am going to want to blog about.

So with my bag 29.4 kilos full of an array of clothing, I bid you good night :)

P.s., I've just changed my blog settings so you should be able to comment more easily with less authentication.
P.p.s., I will understand if you decided 'tldr' with this post. What a monologue! :)

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